Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Love that Covers
Someone I only know through blogging land just wrote an excellent post on one of the many reasons marriage is worth it. The post struck a chord with me as I read it and looked up at my two handsome boys sitting at the lunch table -- two boys who just about die of happiness every night when their dad comes home from work. So I'm sharing it here!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
When Nana & Papa Come to Visit
Spending time together on the couch
Nana builds a mean train track
A lot of walks are taken around the neighborhood,
or downtown.
We all dress up and go to church.
More walks are taken,
nature is explored,
Winnie-the-Pooh's house is found.
Really, the only bad part about Nana & Papa coming to visit is that they have to go home at the end of their vacation.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Book Review: One Thousand Gifts
I just finished Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts yesterday and wanted to write a short review. Looking at the title and the book description I thought this book would be primarily about keeping a gratitude journal, and that is part of it, but the journal itself is a gateway to more fully understanding God in the face of all kinds of circumstances.
Voskamp opens her story recounting the death of her sister when they were both young girls. She speaks about growing up in a household where the resulting deep suffering was the everyday reality. It was this first chapter that drew me in. I have led a very charmed life with very little real suffering, but I have found just in these past few weeks that I have been directly confronted with the deep wounds that this world can inflict on people in the faces of my friends and acquaintances. I do not know, honestly, if God is sharing these stories with me to prepare me for my own hardships to come (sometimes it feels that way), or if He is simply wanting to change my heart in some way to be more tender to those who are grieving. All that to say: I bought One Thousand Gifts almost immediately after reading that first chapter online.
My main criticism of the book, which is more about personal taste, is that I'm not a fan of stream-of-consciousness writing. For me it is much like when you are reading something out loud and realize mid-sentence that you've gotten the subject, verb or rhythm of the sentence wrong. Then you have to go back and read it again to figure out what was actually said. But, it is also in this writing style that Voskamp gets her point across: keeping a gratitude journal, however trivial it seems, is a first step to thinking Biblically, and once we can think Biblically, we can start to internalize those truths and really live them out amidst the worst kind of suffering, or the litany of our daily life, or even more fully appreciate the great joys we are blessed with. She moves deep into the idea that most Christians give lip service to: "Yes, Lord, I'm thankful for all you have given me" and insists that we need to be specific and deliberate about thanking God, not for everything, but for each thing. When we are specifically thankful for even the smallest gifts and when we are actively looking for those small gifts, our thinking about joy, life, suffering, God, and His love really changes us.
I appreciate that Voskamp quotes Lewis and Piper, as well as some more heavy theological texts, and the Bible, of course. She didn't just write a touchy feel good book about thanksgiving. She grounds all of the feelings and introspection into Biblical principles. But the book isn't preachy. She bares her own domestic failings for all of us to see as we read how she is discovering what thanksgiving means during those moments when we are less than thankful for the kids breaking a glass door, or worse, when a precious child is injured or lost. She deals eloquently with the question of a sovereign God amidst the worst kind of pain, and these passages really struck me so that I read them over and over again, convicted of my own lack of grace amidst trivial suffering, or worse, amidst great blessings!
What do we do when we are so deeply wounded that all we want to do is be angry at the God who would have us feel this pain? How can being thankful for small things help us here? She lays her emotions and thoughts bare on the pages of her book so that we can see her transformation. Her writings about thanksgiving show a woman wounded, wooed by Christ and ultimately transformed by His love in the little gifts He gives.
So, yes, this is much more than a book about keeping a gratitude journal, and proof reading this review, I notice that I have failed to really capture the beauty and depth in Voskamp's book, but there are many more reviews more beautifully written on Amazon, so go look at them, and then pick up a copy of this book for yourself.
(I do not know Ann Voskamp, nor is my review in any way sponsored by her or anyone else, in fact, she'd probably prefer that someone with much better writing skills review her book! She does blog at A Holy Experience with beautiful photos and words.)
Voskamp opens her story recounting the death of her sister when they were both young girls. She speaks about growing up in a household where the resulting deep suffering was the everyday reality. It was this first chapter that drew me in. I have led a very charmed life with very little real suffering, but I have found just in these past few weeks that I have been directly confronted with the deep wounds that this world can inflict on people in the faces of my friends and acquaintances. I do not know, honestly, if God is sharing these stories with me to prepare me for my own hardships to come (sometimes it feels that way), or if He is simply wanting to change my heart in some way to be more tender to those who are grieving. All that to say: I bought One Thousand Gifts almost immediately after reading that first chapter online.
My main criticism of the book, which is more about personal taste, is that I'm not a fan of stream-of-consciousness writing. For me it is much like when you are reading something out loud and realize mid-sentence that you've gotten the subject, verb or rhythm of the sentence wrong. Then you have to go back and read it again to figure out what was actually said. But, it is also in this writing style that Voskamp gets her point across: keeping a gratitude journal, however trivial it seems, is a first step to thinking Biblically, and once we can think Biblically, we can start to internalize those truths and really live them out amidst the worst kind of suffering, or the litany of our daily life, or even more fully appreciate the great joys we are blessed with. She moves deep into the idea that most Christians give lip service to: "Yes, Lord, I'm thankful for all you have given me" and insists that we need to be specific and deliberate about thanking God, not for everything, but for each thing. When we are specifically thankful for even the smallest gifts and when we are actively looking for those small gifts, our thinking about joy, life, suffering, God, and His love really changes us.
I appreciate that Voskamp quotes Lewis and Piper, as well as some more heavy theological texts, and the Bible, of course. She didn't just write a touchy feel good book about thanksgiving. She grounds all of the feelings and introspection into Biblical principles. But the book isn't preachy. She bares her own domestic failings for all of us to see as we read how she is discovering what thanksgiving means during those moments when we are less than thankful for the kids breaking a glass door, or worse, when a precious child is injured or lost. She deals eloquently with the question of a sovereign God amidst the worst kind of pain, and these passages really struck me so that I read them over and over again, convicted of my own lack of grace amidst trivial suffering, or worse, amidst great blessings!
What do we do when we are so deeply wounded that all we want to do is be angry at the God who would have us feel this pain? How can being thankful for small things help us here? She lays her emotions and thoughts bare on the pages of her book so that we can see her transformation. Her writings about thanksgiving show a woman wounded, wooed by Christ and ultimately transformed by His love in the little gifts He gives.
So, yes, this is much more than a book about keeping a gratitude journal, and proof reading this review, I notice that I have failed to really capture the beauty and depth in Voskamp's book, but there are many more reviews more beautifully written on Amazon, so go look at them, and then pick up a copy of this book for yourself.
(I do not know Ann Voskamp, nor is my review in any way sponsored by her or anyone else, in fact, she'd probably prefer that someone with much better writing skills review her book! She does blog at A Holy Experience with beautiful photos and words.)
Monday, January 3, 2011
On Marriage
A lot of posts on my blog roll lately have had to do with marriage. Tips, advice, and stories about long marriages. It got me thinking, and thus wanting to write. I feel a bit under-qualified to write anything meaningful about marriage as an institution since I've been married for less than a decade. But, since I have a blog, what else should I use it for if not airing out my incomplete thoughts on huge issues that have been discussed for millennia by people much smarter than myself?
I've decided that the toughest thing about marriage is loving another person as yourself. Of course you should do this for everyone as the Bible commands, but there is that particular calling to love and respect your spouse above others. The tough thing about loving your spouse above everyone else is that you live day-in and day-out with this person. You see their ugly habits, their sins, their faults up close and personal -- more than any other adult on this earth. So you see those things and live with them and then you have to love them, but not just love them, love them as you love yourself. This is instructive: the only other adult you know as well as your spouse is yourself. So think of your darkest secrets, your worst sins, and then think of how well you look out for number one in spite of those things. We rationalize our own big stinking sins away before we even commit them, but we are constantly getting annoyed at our spouses for things like not changing the toilet paper roll. What is worse: absentmindedly leaving dirty laundry on the floor, or rolling our eyes with a heavy sigh while picking it up, resolving to alert the offender to the error at the first available opportunity?
So, love your spouse as yourself. Thinking about this, I can't help but feel the weight of the impossibility. So what next?
I feel very blessed to have married someone who is very willing and able to keep short accounts. Any time I have messed up in the department of loving or respecting my husband (and there have been many) whatever argument we have usually ends with both of us apologizing and forgiving each other. Lest this sounds like we are the perfect angels about disagreements, this apologizing and forgiveness often comes after some time of stubbornness on one of our parts. God has really given us a lot of grace in this area, because, at least from my perspective, I can think of specific times that Steve and I have fought about something, but I cannot think of one time that we have fought where it hasn't been resolved and wiped clean. I realize that 7 years is a short time to stand on a mountain of accomplishment and proclaim that I harbor no resentment towards my husband, but God has given us a good start in this regard.
Something else that has been key for me in some of our more "spirited discussions" is to do my best to keep from arguing with my husband solely for the purpose of being right or proving my point. It is so easy to get wrapped up in an argument where all I want is for my husband to acknowledge that he is wrong and I am right. Obviously, this is how most discussions end up as arguments. But (if I may be cliche), when arguing just to be the winner of the argument, everyone loses. Defeating your spouse or getting them to capitulate to your own wants should never be the goal of any activity, which is why Steve and I stopped playing Settlers of Catan one-on-one.
Well, I suppose I should end with words from someone much wiser than myself, since for all my rambling on this topic I feel like I know very little about having a great marriage -- other than picking a very forgiving person as a spouse. But I found this quote one day, and it is really helpful in all areas of life, but marriage too:
Instead of assuming that the offending party is the one in the wrong, consider assuming that you are wrong to take offense. Then work from there. It’s amazing how it will simplify your life. --Nancy Wilson
P.S. Hope everyone had a great Christmas and is looking forward with peace and hope to a great 2011!
I've decided that the toughest thing about marriage is loving another person as yourself. Of course you should do this for everyone as the Bible commands, but there is that particular calling to love and respect your spouse above others. The tough thing about loving your spouse above everyone else is that you live day-in and day-out with this person. You see their ugly habits, their sins, their faults up close and personal -- more than any other adult on this earth. So you see those things and live with them and then you have to love them, but not just love them, love them as you love yourself. This is instructive: the only other adult you know as well as your spouse is yourself. So think of your darkest secrets, your worst sins, and then think of how well you look out for number one in spite of those things. We rationalize our own big stinking sins away before we even commit them, but we are constantly getting annoyed at our spouses for things like not changing the toilet paper roll. What is worse: absentmindedly leaving dirty laundry on the floor, or rolling our eyes with a heavy sigh while picking it up, resolving to alert the offender to the error at the first available opportunity?
So, love your spouse as yourself. Thinking about this, I can't help but feel the weight of the impossibility. So what next?
I feel very blessed to have married someone who is very willing and able to keep short accounts. Any time I have messed up in the department of loving or respecting my husband (and there have been many) whatever argument we have usually ends with both of us apologizing and forgiving each other. Lest this sounds like we are the perfect angels about disagreements, this apologizing and forgiveness often comes after some time of stubbornness on one of our parts. God has really given us a lot of grace in this area, because, at least from my perspective, I can think of specific times that Steve and I have fought about something, but I cannot think of one time that we have fought where it hasn't been resolved and wiped clean. I realize that 7 years is a short time to stand on a mountain of accomplishment and proclaim that I harbor no resentment towards my husband, but God has given us a good start in this regard.
Something else that has been key for me in some of our more "spirited discussions" is to do my best to keep from arguing with my husband solely for the purpose of being right or proving my point. It is so easy to get wrapped up in an argument where all I want is for my husband to acknowledge that he is wrong and I am right. Obviously, this is how most discussions end up as arguments. But (if I may be cliche), when arguing just to be the winner of the argument, everyone loses. Defeating your spouse or getting them to capitulate to your own wants should never be the goal of any activity, which is why Steve and I stopped playing Settlers of Catan one-on-one.
Well, I suppose I should end with words from someone much wiser than myself, since for all my rambling on this topic I feel like I know very little about having a great marriage -- other than picking a very forgiving person as a spouse. But I found this quote one day, and it is really helpful in all areas of life, but marriage too:
Instead of assuming that the offending party is the one in the wrong, consider assuming that you are wrong to take offense. Then work from there. It’s amazing how it will simplify your life. --Nancy Wilson
P.S. Hope everyone had a great Christmas and is looking forward with peace and hope to a great 2011!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Keeping the Blog Alive
So I read something recently that said to keep your blog alive you should post at least once every two weeks.
Well.
Ahem.
Anyway.
What's going on around here? Well, we spent the second week of September at the beach with my aunt and uncle. We stayed on the island of Ocracoke, which among other things, is fun to say.
Four days after we got back from the beach, my mom came out to help us celebrate Ethan's 3rd birthday. My first born is THREE!
While she was here we went to the Virginia State Fair and had a grand time. My boy, who doesn't like going down the "big slide" on the playground loved going on all the kiddie rides, even the roller coaster.
So now we are back from the beach and Grandma has gone home so we are settling back into regular life. It's never boring around here, though. My main activity over the next few weeks is to get into the habit of doing a teeny bit of pre-school using Sherry Early's book Picture Book Pre-School. It seems just about the right speed for us since Ethan is just three and already loves books and stories. I am getting excited because he is starting to sit and listen to longer stories that don't have a lot of pictures (like Winnie-the-Pooh stories), so I'm hoping we can start a family read aloud of The Chronicles of Narnia soon and he might actually enjoy it.
Well.
Ahem.
Anyway.
What's going on around here? Well, we spent the second week of September at the beach with my aunt and uncle. We stayed on the island of Ocracoke, which among other things, is fun to say.
Four days after we got back from the beach, my mom came out to help us celebrate Ethan's 3rd birthday. My first born is THREE!
While she was here we went to the Virginia State Fair and had a grand time. My boy, who doesn't like going down the "big slide" on the playground loved going on all the kiddie rides, even the roller coaster.
So now we are back from the beach and Grandma has gone home so we are settling back into regular life. It's never boring around here, though. My main activity over the next few weeks is to get into the habit of doing a teeny bit of pre-school using Sherry Early's book Picture Book Pre-School. It seems just about the right speed for us since Ethan is just three and already loves books and stories. I am getting excited because he is starting to sit and listen to longer stories that don't have a lot of pictures (like Winnie-the-Pooh stories), so I'm hoping we can start a family read aloud of The Chronicles of Narnia soon and he might actually enjoy it.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
One Minute with Matthew
As I watched this video play back before I posted it, I was struck by how different Matthew is from his older brother. At this age, Ethan was stacking blocks, but if they fell down or didn't stack how he wanted them he would get extremely frustrated to the point of tears. Matthew is happy just to stack and re-stack until he achieves his goal. Funnily enough, the goal is the same between the two boys -- to knock down whatever they build with great gusto!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
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