Family Worship

When Steve and I started attending a reformed church soon after we got married I remember thinking there was something different about the service that I couldn't put my finger on. Of course it was more liturgical than what I had grown up with, but that wasn't it. The pastor wore a formal robe, but that wasn't it either. I finally figured it out when we sat next to a family with three small children one Sunday and all of their children were sitting in the row with them! The simple difference was the noise of people having their children sit in church with them for the entire service. It wasn't loud and obvious (most of the time), but there was definitely more general noise.

Now that we have two small children of our own I can fully appreciate the benefits and the hard work of having our children in "big church" with us. I should disclaim this by saying that I'm not an ogre about this concept. Matthew, at one year old, currently goes to the nursery during worship for many practical reasons. Ethan, however, is 2.5 and sits through the whole service. Matthew will get there, and it will probably be before his second birthday, Lord willing. But why do we bother? Why should the church encourage us to bother bringing these little ones into worship with us?

Think of your dinner table. This is where your children learn basic manners. They learn how to converse and interact with others. They learn not to put their feet in their dinner plates (oh, yes). More than that, they are fed. They are sustained and grown with people who love them, with people who model the very behavior they are supposed to strive for. I know very few parents who would send their toddler to a room full of other two-year olds, tell them to play with their food, and then expect them to love sitting at the dinner table when they turn 12. It doesn't happen. Further, I know very few parents who send their children to eat in a separate room away from the main meal because they are messy or loud or an inconvenience to everyone else.

And I really believe worship is the same way. A friend of mine once told me that when you keep your children in church from a young age they don't learn to hate the service. They learn to get involved in it. I can tell you that when my son hears the opening notes of "Come Thou Fount" or when the offering plate is passed, or when the pastor asks us to stand and sing the Doxology he is excited, he is joyful! When we say "amen" he says "amen!" when we say "Praise the Lord!" he shouts "Praise the Lord!" It is a wonderful thing, and exciting to watch. Getting him to sit through the sermon is, of course, more of a challenge. And like every other day of his life involves constant, consistent discipline from his dad and I. I'll admit there are Sundays that I don't hear much of the sermon and we spend a lot of time in the ladies room. But I believe that God is honored in what we are doing with our children during worship and He doles out the appropriate levels of grace as we need it.

Ethan does go to Sunday School prior to the service and he has a wonderful time there. But Sunday School is not the meat of Sunday. It is not where the meal is served. When he was a young baby and I was visiting my parents while Steve was on deployment, I attended their church for a few Sundays. They have special notes in the bulletin about not bringing children under a certain age into the service, and ushers are there to escort you out if your child makes a peep. I didn't place much importance on it at the time, but thinking back it makes me sad. It makes me wonder if children ever ask themselves why they are not welcome during the "real" worship of their Most High. The fact of the matter is that we are all messy, loud, obnoxious sinners. We all put our feet in our dinner plate sometimes. And God has allowed us all, through his Son to come and worship. May we all have the joy of the two year old that says "Praise the Lord!" at the top of his lungs when we come.



**There's a great post on the practicalities of having your children in church with you here.

Ethan's Getting Baptized! Part III

Let us look at it like this: To be a Christian means that we have had an experience of the grace of God. That is essential Christianity. There are many definitions that one could give. One I have often quoted because it seems to me to be such an excellent one is that old definition of Henry Scougal, the Scotsman who lived nearly 300 years ago. He said that Christianity is ‘the life of God in the souls of men.’ In other words, what makes us Christians is not primarily what we do, but what God does to us. That is essential Christianity. This rebirth, this being born again, is all God’s action. It is not man’s, it is God’s. It is being born from above. It is the work of the Holy Spirit of God. Therefore, the essential thing about being a Christian is that one has thus been dealt with by God.”

Martyn Lloyd-Jones, My Soul Magnifies the Lord

Well, we had quite the busy weekend here in the Bremer household, which is probably why I've not been able to blog about it until Wednesday. It was so much fun though, and pretty much everything went off without a hitch! Ethan was baptized on Sunday of course, but the fun started on Thursday when Nana and Papa showed up. Papa read Ethan some stories, but he didn't like this one:

Ethan soon forgave him though:

Friday was spent shopping for party food and supplies. Then Steve came home from his business trip to a family that was very happy to see him. Saturday, the men worked in the garage (and put some shelving in my utility room so it is so much more organized now!). Steve's sister Jill and brother-in-law Tim showed up Saturday afternoon and Jill helped me cut veggies and cheese and get ready for Sunday. I made a new recipe called Apache Bread Dip that a friend gave to me...so yummy! That night we played my favorite board game ever, "Beyond Balderdash." Unfortunately it is not Jill's favorite board game ever, but she humored me and played anyway (and came in 2nd!).

Sunday morning we all got up and got ready for church. Ethan and his dad sang some hymns for us all before we left:
After the baptism, Steve and I had an open house for the church. Almost everyone came out to celebrate with us, and I was nervous if we would have enough food and space, but the Lord really worked everything out. No one went away hungry (some gracious friends even brought some food with them), and the house seemed to expand to fit all the people.As the youngest member of the church, Ethan got plenty of attention from the girls.
Over all, it was a fantastic time of fellowship and celebration for our newest little member of the Covenant.

Ethan's Getting Baptized! Part II

Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. --Psalm 139:16

I ended my last post with these questions:

So then what? Why does an issue of apparent semantics -- me choosing Christ or Christ choosing me -- mean that babies should be baptized? They haven't chosen or been chosen at all yet, right? How does their baptism mean anything if they don't even remember it?

I want to focus most of all on that last question. My experience with my own baptism was very important to me. It was built up to be important to me; it was to be a public confession of my faith in Christ. My thoughts have changed on that, however, and now I view baptism as a sign of God's covenant with his people. In the Bible, God promises that our children are a part of that covenant, which is why, when someone professed their faith in New Testament times, their household was also promised to be saved (and everyone in the household was promptly baptized). We see this happening in Acts 16 (specifically verses 15 and 31). The way I read these scriptures indicates to me that children were baptized as part of the covenant of grace.

Even when I understood all of those things in my head, my heart still had a problem with baptizing infants that didn't even know what was happening to them. How was that at all meaningful? During a theology class at church, another mom told this anecdote and it really hit home with me; I think I almost changed my mind about infant baptism right there on the spot! She told us about how above each of her children's beds, there was a photograph of their baptism. At bedtime, it was common for the children to occasionally ask their parents about the photo -- they wanted to hear the story of their baptism. The parents would then tell them about how helpless and tiny they were as babies; how they depended on mom or dad for their every need. They then talked about how, to God, we are all like helpless little babies; that we don't even know that we need him, but he still cares for us and nurtures us. They talk about how God chose us to be part of his family before we even knew it, when we were too weak to choose Him (she mentioned reading Psalm 139 to them)! And so, they were baptized as small helpless babies into God's family, and Mommy and Daddy had to promise to teach their baby about God and Jesus.

That story from that mom is what really hit me about baptism -- it isn't about the experience one has, it is about pointing the child to Christ their whole life. God promises that our children are a part of his covenant and their baptism is a sign to us, their parents, of that promise. Does this mean that every infant that is baptized professes faith later in life? No. But many people that are baptized as believers go on to abandon their faith later in life as well. We don't know why this happens, but I believe Paul tries to explain much of it in Romans 9.

Part III of these postings will come on Monday, with pictures of Ethan's baptism. Hopefully I haven't bored everyone to death

Ethan's Getting Baptized! Part I

And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you. --Genesis 17:7

I suppose, since the time is drawing near and I will be posting pictures of the event here, I should just come right out and say it: Ethan is being baptized in about a week and a half. No, I have not converted to Catholicism, and yes I said baptized and not dedicated. I've been wanting to write a series of posts on the subject, because if you had told me 5 years ago that I would be having my infants baptized I would have looked at you like you had two noses. But here I am, and I couldn't be more excited about little Ethan's big day.


Steve and I started going to a reformed church right after we got married. I had always grown up in non-denominational churches, and it was Steve's preference to attend a Presbyterian church. I didn't really think there would be a huge difference. I was a little wrong. We started going to Redeemer and becoming reformed really changed my theology a lot. Even still, my biggest sticking point with all of the new things I learned was not the total depravity of man, or the idea of a limited atonement, it was the relatively small point of baptizing babies. Anyway, I don't want to give a big theology lesson in these posts because, honestly, I understood the theology behind infant baptism long before I was comfortable with committing to it for my own children. I would mostly like to write about my own experience with baptism and what ended up changing my heart, and why I am so excited about Ethan's baptism. However, Patch Blakey has written an absolutely excellent article which sums up the theology behind infant baptism really well. Since you will inevitably be confused at my attempts to explain things, that article is a good place to start and see where I'm coming from.


To start out (yes, I'm just now starting; the above paragraphs were just, er, not the beginning), I want to say that I was baptized as a believer. I have witnessed many wonderful child dedications. I don't think either of those things are wrong by any stretch of the imagination. I don't think that my baptism "didn't count" because it wasn't done as an infant, and I don't want to make anyone feel like I think their baptisms were less than sufficient. But I am going to talk about why I think infant baptism is better, so hopefully I don't offend a whole mess of you.

I was baptized when I was 15 (some of you reading this were there! how neat!). I had come to confess my faith in Christ only a year before. Leading up to my baptism, there were one or two Sundays when I met with my youth pastor and we talked about my testimony. The main question was, "how did you come to know Christ?". There was an emphasis on when I accepted Christ into my heart and my story. During my actual baptism, I stood in the baptismal and told my story to the whole church. It was really a great day for me, and I was glad to experience it.

So why would I want to deprive Ethan of that experience?


Well, looking now, through a new lens of theology, I really feel that the day focused too much on me and what I had done to become a Christian. The thing I started asking myself when I was studying reformed theology is: if I am totally sinful (as the Bible teaches) how was I able to choose Christ at all? In Matthew 16, when Peter confesses Christ as the Son of Man, Jesus tells Peter that it was the Father that revealed the truth to him (Peter) and not flesh and blood. Peter didn't come to his faith on his own, the Father gave him his faith! So maybe the focus on my journey to Christ during my baptism should have been more of a focus on the faith that the Father had given to me.


So then what? Why does an issue of apparent semantics -- me choosing Christ or Christ choosing me -- mean that babies should be baptized? They haven't chosen or been chosen at all yet, right? How does their baptism mean anything if they don't even remember it?


Ahh, now that I've thoroughly offended everyone, I have to go attend to my wee babe. I will answer my own questions in the next post (maybe tomorrow).